Archive for the Misadventures Category

Jeremy’s Julz

Posted in Misadventures, Women on November 17, 2015 by Saliva Vic

You make me feel like a little girl, what do you do to me – Erykah Badu

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I love the way when I told you you’re beautiful you would deny it yet smile so hard you would cover your face.

I love the way we would always get kicked out of Mwenda’s on Monday nights but we always found another spot.

I love the way when the dark days came we helped each other reach out to the light.

I love the way you left me voice notes on the WhatsApp. You’re the only one who ever did.

I love the way we jumped over puddles & sipped gin in the ATM booth the last time we hang out.

I’ll miss all that.

This will sound selfish Julz but who am I gonna go to Mwenda’s with? Who am I supposed to turn to now when it gets dark? But still, I am happy that you’re now with the love of your life Wy, dancing with the angels. You were, no, you are the love of my life & no one will ever replace you.

Forever Jeremy’s Julz. I love you. Till we meet again.

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Forever Ruhila

Posted in Alkahol, Misadventures, Music, Women on September 23, 2013 by Saliva Vic

We all enjoy the madness coz we know we’re gonna fade away – Robbie Williams

Ruhila

I never met Ruhila Adatia Sood. I never met her in person but we were great friends on the social network. I remember the first time I met baby girl I was hosting Nonini’s 1Breakfast show & she tweeted me to tell me that she was listening & loved it. I then tuned in to East FM Breakfast to listen to her hosting Aleem’s show at the same damn time!

This was our song!!!!!!! CHENNAI EXPRESS!!!

That was when my friendship with Ruhila began. We both had an admiration for each other’s work. I would listen to her when I was strung out, hang over & she was filling in for the breakfast crew. I would also tune in during my own show, The Riot, just to get my fix of Ruhila’s bubbly personality.

Yesterday my friendship with Ruhila ended. As I was self medicating kama kawa my ex told me that Ruhila had been shot by those Al Shabaab cowards at Westgate. I refused to believe this as I cried all the way home, only for my brother to confirm it. My biggest weakness has always been procrastination. I put things off then regret not doing them later.

Ruhila, I wanted to surprise you with pastries at your work to celebrate your forthcoming bundle of joy. I kept putting it off to sleep, smoke up, drink or just lounge. Now you’re gone. Tonight I’ll be dreaming of you & I will tell you what I should have when you were here

Please give the people you love flowers while they can still smell them. Tell someone you love that you love them today.

Pamoja!!!

 

 

 

 

A.N.N.E.T.T.E : An Ode To My Queen

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Misadventures, Women on June 18, 2013 by Saliva Vic

“It don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine!” – Common

I really debated putting this poem outchea after I wrote it. I kept thinking what it would expose & all that other shit but then I thought about all the poor poor bastards outchea who don’t have the testicles to put their emotions down on paper & figured they might benefit from this. Otherwise this has been inspired by my lovely queen.

My Queen

My Queen

Always finding a way to make me smile, fuck that, you give me a reason to live.

Never listening to the naysayers & haters, instead giving me a shot at your heart.

Naughty but nice, quiet but loud, gentle yet strong, you’re a double up, more than I can ever give.

Extremely intelligent & driven, when we get together, they’ll never tear us apart.

Talented like crazy you are, when you sing it feels like my heart will melt.

Titillating kisses from your lips & your gentle touch are the greatest I ever felt.

Ecstasy does not begin to describe my state of mind since I met you, I dig you to death.

Pamoja!!!

Yeezus : Kanye West Album Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Misadventures, Music, Music Reviews, Women on June 15, 2013 by Saliva Vic

I see flaw/ cracks on yo diamond/ CB4/ when you rhyme Simple Simon! – Pusha T.

This is one of the most anticipated…nah..fuck that, this is the most anticipated release since Christians started waiting for the second coming of Christ more than 2000 years ago! The album they said would never leak. The album that would sell without a radio single or a video, just two SNL performances & Ye’s rapping projected in 66 cities simultaneously!

Well. It leaked. After working Kim K like he did for promo (see here) I wouldn’t put it past Kanye to have done this on purpose so he can drop the REAL album on Tuesday. Anywho, I got it. Let’s venture in & see what’s in store. Is it worth the hype?

Yeezus

ON SIGHT

The intro reminds me of MBDTF but it gets al electro + synth real quick! Sounds like Orgy on lean. Or a lazy Daft Punk. The lyrics are dope though. He raps about not giving fucks & flips a soul sample. I miss that. He talks a lot about fucking a chick, sticking his dick in my spouse & her mouth a lot. The production sounds odd, he plays with his MPC & it’s a wrap. I won’t lie I played it twice. I can dance to this on some drugs. Ok.

BLACK SKINHEAD

Once again the intro reminds me of MBDTF. I like the drums. That’s a Marilyn Manson sample no? I like this. I like the content. It’s like dude is out to piss white people off. Isn’t he having a baby with a white girl? Uh Oh! Is that a Chief Keef reference? Quotable: I keep it 300/ like the Romans/  300 bitches/ where the Trojans. You know Keef keeps it 3 hunna! Now he attacks coons. I like this. The 808s are heffi! He shouts “GOD” then it’s a wrap. At least his jams aren’t as long as Kendrick’s. Yes! The drums remind me of this Marilyn classic!

I AM A GOD FT GOD (JUSTIN VERNON)

I love the title. We are all gods. After all, weren’t we created in his image? Weird dancehall voice at the beginning. Sounds familiar. Might be God. No. It’s Capleton. This sounds like 808s & Heartbreaks with better flows. Yo! I won’t lie, I like this shit! Ye talks more shit than Hov in his prime! Quotable: I just spoke to Jesus/ he said wsup Yeezus/ I said shit I’m chillin/ tryin to stack these millions!” Dope! Once again lyrics over production. The beat switches a bit & he’s running or being chased & screaming. Yo! Yeezy this ain’t a movie dawg! Where was God? Justin Vernon?

NEW SLAVES FT FRANK OCEAN

This was the one projected in 66 cities. I like this one already. Real introspective lyrics & realness about the music industry, a bunch of slaves. I like the production too. My mantra, “There’s leaders & there’s followers/ but I’d rather be a dick than a swallower”. Quotable: Fuck you & your Hampton house/ I fuck your Hampton spouse / me cum in her Hampton mouth”. This nigga wanna be the Charlamagne of rap! I love the soul sample at the end. Where was Frankie?

HOLD MY LIQUOR FT CHIEF KEEF & JUSTIN VERNON

I hope I don’t have to ask where Keef is. Oh shit! Keef sounds sober. A lot of auto tune though. Yo! Is Ye rapping about Alexis? Damn! I like this! Just realized that this album is 808s & Heartbreaks wit Ye rapping & his minions doing the auto tuned singing. Why has he stopped rapping? This shit now sounds like Daft Punk “Aerodynamics” only not as nice. Five minutes & all I got was 1 Ye verse & Keef on the hook? Give me my money back! Oh. I didn’t pay for this. Quotable: Pussy had me floatin/ felt like Deepak Chopra/ pussy had me dead/ Michael 2Pac over.

I’M IN IT FT JUSTIN VERNON

This is starting to sound like Cole’s Sideline Story. The beats are the same. The lyrics are retarded as fuck though! If I listened to beats only I’d have deleted this already. Yo! Is that Buju Banton? Who is that? This jam just beasted out on itself! Another jam that sounds like it was written by Weezy. All he talks about is fucking some chick. I’m playing this again! Quotable: I’m a raplic priest getting head by the nuns/ they don’t play where I’m playin/ they don’t see what I’m sayin/ they be playin in the D leagues/ I be speakin Swahili!

BLOOD ON THE LEAVES

At least the title has me excited. I expect some Billie Holiday on this. Yesssss! Strange Fruit sample from jump! Oh shit! Auto tune. This is 808s & Heartbreaks revisited with better raps instead of singing…spoke too soon…He’s singing. The beat is now on some rap shit but why is he singing? He’s talking about molly & a chick naked in the lobby. Why am I thinking about Kendrick’s Backseat Freestyle? This nigga misses Alexis! Oh shit! That’s what the beat is, that C-Murder Down For My Niggaz. I think Ye wants to piss me off intentionally. He isn’t rapping…Wait he is! He cries in auto tune at the end. This album needs massive amounts of liquor…like Montana amounts! Oh! This jam is about labels raping artists! Slaves!

GUILT TRIP FT KID CUDI

I like Scott. So I’ve gotta like this. No? More auto tune. This is annoying but the screwed up voice makes me keep listening. At least he’s rapping. He just called himself Shabba Ranks & Biggie in two bars then calls himself Chief Rocka! Oh! The screwed voice is Popcaan’s Blocka hook! Scott sings. I could listen to this when I’m high as shit!

SEND IT UP FT KING L & IAMSU!

This is actually dope! This King Louie dude is siiiiiick! This I can fuck with. Ye’s verse is decent though he sounds like he wished he was crying. Beenie Man sings “Memories” at the end. This is short! Play it again. Quotable: Last night my bitches came in twos/ & they both sucked like they came to lose! 

BOUND 2 FT CHARLIE WILSON

Nice soul sample at the beginning. Vintage Kanye. No auto tune & he’s rapping. Quotable: One good girl is worth a thousand bitches. He’s talking about Jerome. Is that a subliminal to Trinidad James? This may be the intro to a “real” rap album from Ye.

Ok. This album has made me sad as shit. Yet happy. You have to be in a really dark place to appreciate this. This is a rapper trying to see how far he can push you away before you finally say “Fuck you Ye!” Lyrically ok, sonically depressing but really interesting coz I didn’t skip anything.

I like this coz I like pissing people off. One thing is that the sound is fucking depressing! Yet I listened to it twice. But I know why I like this, coz Kanye is out to piss the world off the same way the world pisses him off! No artwork. No video. No radio single. You were created unique so why spend all your life trying to be like everyone else! Fuck that!

Favorite Jams: All.  

Yeezus Back Cover

Pamoja!!!

Born Sinner : J Cole Album Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Misadventures, Music, Music Reviews, Women on June 7, 2013 by Saliva Vic

Born sinner/ the opposite of a winner – Notorious B.I.G

This album has been anticipated by many rap music lovers all over the globe. Last night it leaked. This morning my TL on the twitter was filled by J Cole tweets. Even basic bitches who had never listened to more than one Cole World record (sema Work Out?) their entire lives were weighing in their expectations. It’s no surprise he was trending. His debut after dropping hot mixtape after hot mixtape after hot mixtape, The Sideline Story, was a shitty album full of whining & crying courtesy of Jermaine. Can he redeem himself with Born Sinner? Let’s go in.

Born Sinner Artwork

VILLUMINATI

I instantly know I’m gonna like this just coz of the title. I fucks with any illuminati reference & Cole has my attention. Damn it. Kendrick influenced him with that church shit. This beat sounds like Timberland. Okay. Cole dick rides Hov but then goes in mean! Daaaaaayum! This record is tough! So many quotables, will he have any jewels left for the rest of this shit? He really dick rides his boss Hov though. Plus he name dropping maad! Cole is the new Game!  Dude sings sounding like the poor man’s Drake! He took an L at the end coz his insecurity starts showing. Quotable: If the hoes like it, then I love it!

KERNEY SERMON (SKIT)

Another K. Dot touch. A skit. The music in the background is OutKast’s  Da Art Of Storytellin Part 1! That’s my favorite OutKast joint of all time! I don’t even pay attention to the pastor shouting on this skit!

LAND OF SNAKES

Yaaaaaaaaayz! \o/ Cole is gonna rap on the beat! I’m fucking with this! Cole added his hard drum kicks to this but kept the beat pretty much the same. This is like a come up record. Cole has made it & reminisces on when he had no crib, hoes and shit. But then he keeps flipping & says watch out for snakes. He loses me.  Dude actually acknowledges that his kicks are hard! Quotable: My kicks hard/ my whip hard/ I came out the womb with my dick hard! I LOVE THIS ONE. The drums switch at the end sounding all African. Dooooope!

POWER TRIP FT MIGUEL

The obligatory song for the bitches. I didn’t like this song till last week. It made the girl next to me at the bar holla, dance & kiss me. I can’t be mad at that. It’s a pussy record designed just for that I guess. The sample is nice though & the production is meh but that’s where it stops. But like Cole world says,  the hoes like it so I love it. Ha!

MO MONEY (INTERLUDE)

Damn. There goes those hard kicks again. I’ll get a headache. This is kinda nice. He’s rapping about all types of money. Quotable: Blacks always broke coz we don’t know. Short & sweet. I actually wish he would have rapped just a little longer on this.

TROUBLE

Drake’s influence is all over this. Woi! Then there’s a choir. Okay. Where is this going? He started with “Real niggaz tryina fuck/ fuck niggaz wanna fight” but now it’s like he’s at Sunday service. Hahahaaa! He starts rapping about how he can’t stand these bitches & hoes. “Cole on twitter/ Bitch can’t get a follow”! The beat is a yawnfest but the rhymes are interesting like when he’s talmbout going to school. Quotable: I’m dumb as shit/ hangin round these rappers coz they dumb as shit!    

RUNAWAY

Isn’t that Mike Epps in the intro? Hmmm…Kendrick’s touch? Another song about girls? He even says how the fuck did his life become a fucking love song? This is a song for bitches that want to escape their shitty lives.  Pause. This album feels like Game’s Jesus Piece, Kendrick’s GKMC & Drake’s Take Care had unprotected sex & Born Sinner is the illegitimate child. Mad similarities. Back to this jam. Girls & activist ass, Talib Kweli listening, sad niggaz will like this. I barely care for it, it’s no “Keep Your Head Up” & Cole is trying too hard to be 2Pac…

SHE KNOWS FT AMBER COFFMAN

He jumps off singing. The girl is amazing. Can’t make out what she’s saying though. Typical Cole production. Another jam about these chicks? Dude! I finally get that line on Villuminati about changing his target audience. Cole is rapping for the bitches. He finally realized his a hunky piece of man meat! Quotable: What she want from a nigga/ to put a ring on it/ got a bitch on my dick right now & she just wanna sing on it! I kinda fucks with this!

RICH NIGGAZ

I don’t like the title. I dislike rich niggaz. I am not rich. Is that a harp? Dang! Hahhahahaaaaa! He surprised me, he says he hates rich niggaz! I thought he’d be bragging about his cash. He’s rapping about being broke & frustrated. I like it. Real people music. He considers selling his soul. I know it homey. I think that’s why he’s rapping for bitches, he sold his soul. His insecurity shows again as he wants to be great but is afraid of failing. Falling is worse from a higher height they say.

WHERE’S JERMAINE (SKIT)

A church choir singing to God. The A Tribe Called Quest “Electric Relaxation” strings come on. Please tell me he’s gonna rap on this as well!

FORBIDDEN FRUIT FT KENDRICK LAMAR

I think I just jizzed my pants! Not only did he sample my favorite ATCQ record but he brought Kendrick along. I thought he said the album had no rapper features? Maybe he meant verses? Is he gonna use K-Dot just for a muthafuckin hook? Another song about these bitches. This nigga needs to stop singing. Sounding now like the poor man’s Drake on lean. Yep Kendrick just singing on the hook & saying bitches coz no one says it quite like him huh. All of a sudden he goes on a rant against rap magazines & those who think he won’t beat Kanye. Quotable: She raise that nigga kids but she swallow mine.

CHAINING DAY

FORBIDDEN FRUIT ended with Cole’s getting a Jesus Piece. I remember the most amazing Chaining Day was when Kanye got his Roc Chain. Again he’s rapping from the perspective of a nigga who wants that shit! He paints the picture that the game is a façade. Most rappers be shining just for show but he does it as well. The chains are like weaves. It’s a lie. Cole is smarter than most rappers but must stoop to their level of ignorance just to be loved & respected in the game. This nigga crying again & singing! Woi! This joint isn’t bad though. Quotable: Iced put crazy I wanna shine like baby/ compared to that nigga I ain’t  even got a bib yet/ truth be told I haven’t even bought a crib yet!

AIN’T THAT SOME SHIT FT A$AP ROCKY, KING CHIP

Oh snap he goes in! I’ve noticed that Cole sounds the best when he’s just rapping punchlines like he’s in attack mode during a battle. If only he displayed this confidence in all his raps he’d be great! Shout to A$AP & Chip for their one liners on the hook.

CROOKED SMILE FT TLC

Ha! I’m not trying to check for TLC. This jam sounds to me like he was getting his Kanye West on like when Ye did “All Falls Down”. Only Cole is directly talking to these chicks to be confident & not insecure coz of their looks. Look at who’s talking? The most insecure rapper in the game! Trying to be Pac again. I think Pac was the first rapper to talk about girls with a crooked smile. Quotable: Never let them see you frown!  

LET NAS DOWN

What the fuck is this shit? Ye’s “Big Brother” was one thing but this is straight sucking Nasir’s cock son! This is beyond dick riding! Even Game’s love letter to Dre “Doctor’s Advocate” has nothing on this jam. Okay maybe Game’s was on the psycho end. No I.D. killed it in production. Basically Cole is sad that Nas said hated his biggest single Work Out. Gaaad! That joint was annoying! LOL! I love how he says Nas made “You owe me” so he should relate. You owe me was worse. Dick sucking & whining aside, this jam is kinda nice. Cole does do this rap shit from the heart.

BORN SINNER FT FAUNTLEROY

This sounds boring from jump! Cole is talking to God thanking him for everything He let Cole see & achieve. My girl said it sounds like praise & worship. I must agree. Saved the worst for lost. I think this record is really personal to Cole & I respect that. It’s just a yawnfest. It kinda makes me feel as if I’m listening to Pac with a better flow. Pac had tons of these sad as shit records on all his albums!  OMG! There’s even a fucking choir at the end. Bye!

This is where the official album ends. The remaining 5 jams are from Truly Yours 3.

I think Cole has redeemed himself. This is waaaaaay better than Sideline Story. It’s not a classic. It’s good. He still whines & cries a lot & needs to cut the singing but even production wise the kid has really found himself. I like that he’s now rapping for the bitches. He’s better looking than Drake. Shit. This light skin nigga better looking than me. This is J Cole’s first album in my books. Sideline story never happened. Well done Cole. Thanks for not disappointing the first nigga that ever played your shit on Kenyan radio. And bringing back the memories of Biggie, OutKast & ATCQ, priceless.

But the lack of confidence & your insecurity Cole World is the reason you will never be great. Stay tepid my nigga.

Favorite Jams: Villuminati, Land Of Snakes, Forbidden Fruit, Chaining Day, Rich Niggaz, She Knows, Rich Niggaz, Mo Money, Ain’t that some shit.

Peace, Love & Pussy! Pamoja!!!

#IDGAF – Ludacris Mixtape Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Misadventures, Music, Music Reviews, Women on May 25, 2013 by Saliva Vic

My name’s Ludacris & I’m high as giraffe butts – Ludacris

00 - Ludacris_Idgaf-front-large

INTRO

This must be from a movie. I don’t know which one but whoever the actor is he sounds pretty convincing with that “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!”

IF I AIN’T FUCKED UP

Produced by Metro Boomin who’s intro “This beat is so so Metro” is kinda cool. I love it. Knock your pictures off the wall shit. This is a turn up record, best enjoyed drunk & high. Quotable: Top notch, top tier, I’m a top nigga/ slap her bottom while your girl give me top nigga!” This is dope!

RAISED IN SOUTH FT YOUNG JEEZY

The hook is tough! So is the beat, also produced by Metro Boomin. Luda is nice with the flow especially on the third verse but Jeezy’s verse is aggressive as fuck! This is the kind of record you listen to when you’re mad, get amped, go find that dude that was subtweeting you & beat the shit out of him! Quotable: Pussy niggaz only talkin coz they got lips – Young Jeezy.  

HELL OF A NIGHT

This is produced by DJ Mustard so I expect some Tyga sounding joint next. Yep! Just as I expected. Luda delivers another turn up anthem on this. This is bananas, the kind of jam you pre game to before you hit the club. Damn, I think I’m dancing while typing! This is the shit! Quotable: Top down but I feel like gettin fucked up/ I get high but the bass low!

9 TIMES OUT OF TEN FT FRENCH MONTANA

Oh oh. This can’t be good. French may be the master of turn up but him & Luda? Let’s see. Yooooooo! This is dope! The hook is hilarious! French talmbout how much time he spends at the booty club. Luda also makes it clear that he doesn’t fuck hoes on their period. LOL This jam is so ratchet! French’s verse is quite forgettable but he bodied the hook! Quotable: Hmmm/ Scrolling through my hoelodex/ eenie meenie minie moe let’s see what hoe is next!

SPEAK INTO THE MIC

This has to do with giving head. 20 bob says it’s about fellatio fam! It’s produced by Mike Will the king of all ratchet beats. Yep! This is made for the strip club! This mixtape is part designed for the strip club & part designed for drug use. Quotable: She gon make me sign her to a record deal/ hit the store & buy her some Giuseppe heels/ She be on that mic so long she outta breath/ put her in the booth & work her half to death! Niiiiice! Mike Will’s best beat yet!

DANCIN DIRTY FT CHRIS BROWN

I see Breezy’s name in the credits & I pray that he’s rapping on this. This is another one for the strip club. Shit, Breezy is singing. Still sound good. Luda’s flow is insane though the verses don’t have any crazy lyrics. Shit just sounds nice!

IDGAF

Bangladesh did the beat. Oh boy, let me adjust the bass for them 808s. I think that’s Monique saying “We don’t give a fuck” then Smokie comes on with the classic “I don’t give a fuck”. Whoa! Luda sounds drunk & high on this. Especially his voice. Well done. This is a combination of turn up & strip club music. Quotable: People see me in the movies & think I went Hollywood/ only difference is I’m poppin a molly wit a bunch of Mollys/ and poppin does a Molly good! <–Say that really fast!

SHE A TRIP FT MAC MILLER

The little white boy Mac is on this. I have high hopes. Is this about a stripper? I think so. Nah. I think it’s about a trick who plays dudes for their cash. Oh fuck it. I don’t really care it sounds nice. Mac is only on the hook though. Disappointed.

MAD FO FT MEEK MILL, CHRIS BROWN, SWIZZ BEATZ, PUSHA T

Breezy better be rapping now. This line up is strange yo! Swizz talks like Joe Budden. It’s a song for the haters asking why they mad. Luda flosses how much money & how many women he’s fucked. I wonder who he’s talking to. Meek also flosses his money & how people hate on him now that he’s rich. Breezy just bodied both Meek & Luda. Pusha’s verse is insane! I think he’s talking to someone too. Quotable: Haters can blow me like a fan/ flier than a bitch I don’t think I’ma ever land! – Breezy but he says Ambulanance or some shit.

This is an amazing mixtape when you don’t want to think & just want to party & bullshit. It has the beats for it, the ratchetness as well as some hardbody joints for the fight in you. I love it. Short & sweet. If Luda’s next album is in the same vein, I’m copping.

CD Insert

Favorite jams: All except Dirty Dancin & She A Trip.

You can download #IDGAF for free here

Pamoja!!!

Indicud : Kid Cudi Album Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Misadventures, Music, Music Reviews, Women on April 11, 2013 by Saliva Vic

When will the fantasy end/ Where does the heaven begin? – Kid Cudi

Before I go on another amazing adventure with Scott Mescudi aka Kid Cudi, I must say that I will be a bit biased since Cudder is one of my favorite artists in the world. I relate to Scott Mescudi, Bill Selanga, Kendrick Lamar & Tauheed Epps more than any other artist on this planet. I have also never anticipated an album like this since Good Kid M.a.a.D City by Kendrick Lamar. With that out of the way, let’s go in.

Kid Cudi - Indicud

THE RESURRECTION OF SCOTT MESCUDI

I love that he went with his government for this one. Makes me believe this will be an honest album just like Man On The Moon II: The Legend Of Mr. Rager which I love! This is just a sick beat with no rhymes. Wannabe emcees can use it for their lame freestyles or whatever. Wait….there’s a kid’s voice at the end saying, “Once you realize you can do anything, you’re free”! Wow!

UNFUCKWITTABLE

First, I love the title, one of my favorite words! It begins with the same kid’s voice…Is this from a movie? Since this is the bootleg version I have no credits so fuck all if I know. The beat sounds like a movie, Scott might want to look at scoring a film after this. This is that dark Kid Cudi sound I love. This is how you feel at times after massive amounts of alkahol with a hot girl by your side shit talking at a mean party. The lyrics are cool “The world is filled with good vibes & that’s what I seek/ now I’m feeling more than cool”. If this song doesn’t make you feel good about life, kill yourself.

JUST WHAT I AM FT KING CHIP

This was the first record I heard off Indicud & I loved it. The ultimate stoner’s anthem & the reason everyone believes Scott has relapsed back to his cocaina swag! Chip’s verse sets the mood. “Neighbours knockin on the door/ askin can we turn it down/ I say ain’t no music on/ she said no that weed is loud!” Cudi gets all introspective on his verse, when he says “ I had to ball for therapy my shrink don’t think that helps at all/ whatever/ that man ain’t wearin these leather pants/ I diagnose my damn self this damn pills ain’t workin fam!” I can’t help but smile. This is a record for everyone who feels sorry for themselves, it’s not that bad, God made you as odd as you are for a reason. Say it with me, “Fuck. Yes. I’m. Odd.”

YOUNG LADY FT FATHER JOHN MISTY

What the hell? Did Cudder just get his priest to jump on a record? The fuck shit is Father John Misty? Sounds like a name you use when banging prostitutes. The guitar is loud on this, I can’t really make out what Scott’s saying. Father John Misty can sing, I think he’s saying Jesus Christ’d her? Yeah what? No it’s “Jesus Christ, girl!” This is Scott’s take on the obligatory song for the bitches that every rapper must have on album. I could fuck with this but I don’t see black girls taking off their panties to this, maybe the Caucasian broads, not the blacks.

KING WIZARD

The beat is insane! So far, Scott has produced every record on this album. That’s more than wack ass Dr. Dre did all his life! I love the message. Scott’s dedication to me. This is the attitude you need when getting through life, just do you & fuck what people say. Cudder let’s the world know that he’s back, if you overthink like myself, this could also be Scott announcing that he’s back on the drugs. Quotable: “I’m outta my mind like all the time/ and a nigga ain’t missed one step yet!” Reminds me of the girl Drake falling on stage!

IMMORTAL

This is my jam! Turn up music that I can relate to on an emotional level. If you love comics then you will love this. Whenever I’m depressed I imagine I’m an immortal super hero or super villain. It’s like once you get through the pain of life you’re rejuvenated & nothing can stop you! Quotable: “I got my lion heart & electric flowing through my brain/ shocking waves make me feel I can float!” Turn this up to ignorant levels the next time you feel like shit & regain your powers!

SOLO DOLO PT II FT KENDRICK LAMAR

Scott tagged my newest favorite emcee for this one. Two honest dudes on the same record? Let’s see what’s good! The beat sounds like something from a Jefferson Airplane record. Trippy music. Someone call Ye quick, K-Dot just murdered Cudder on his own shit! This is worth another spin just for the lyrical gymnastics on display & the wordplay! Quotable: You wish me well/ I wish you hell/ Eternity/ No such thing as time will tell/ Infernary/ burn like magnetic combustion. (K-Dot must have been drunk when he wrote this, rappers be lying!)

GIRLS FT TOO $HORT

Look who Cudder got out of the perverts retirement home…The man whose favorite word is bitch…the one who ran from the cops when drunk only to be caught in 5 seconds…It’s Too $hort. The name of the song should have been bitches. I think he’s singing for prostitutes. Wait…this is for every single man who wants to bang every girl breathing! Team mafisi just found it’s anthem. The second verse is another reason to believe Scott is back to using, no wonder this album’s so good! Too $hort says all the pretty girls call him Todd like he’s LL Cool J now. 88 Keys killed it on the beat.

NEW YORK CITY RAGE FEST

Club banger? I could pop mollies, grab a glow stick & mosh with a white woman to this beat. No words. Just beats for one minute fifty three seconds. Once again I think Scott should score a movie.

RED EYE FT HAIM

The second joint on the album produced by someone other than Cudi. This is Hit Boy so I know it’s going to be wild but who the fuck is Haim yo? Wait. Haim is that band made up of 3 white sisters! Ok.  This sounds good. Chill out music this is for those of us tormented with thoughts, sounds & visions in our minds that make no sense. Sometimes you just need to turn up to turn them down. This is for the mentally disturbed. Love it though it’s more of Haim featuring Cudi.

MAD SOLAR

The title reminds me of Nairobi heat. The beat is spacey. I like this. Just like Ghost & Soundtrack 2 My Life this is a jam that makes you accept who you are as an odd individual. I realize that regular folks won’t relate to this album, then again, to relate to Scott’s music requires a certain degree of madness. Check the hook: “People think I’m mad or on one/ won’t you tell them I’m mad solar/ all the things that bother me/ ain’t no other way I can be!” Fuck what everyone thinks, just shine on them.

BEEZ FT RZA

The Abbot is on this & he isn’t producing! I hope he’s not just doing the hook like on Ye’s MBDTF! Oh shit! RZA is rapping mayne! Did the Abbot just say “slice your pie look like Subarus”? Ha! He actually says Sbarros, the pizza joint. Yo! This verse makes no sense but then RZA says he doesn’t write songs he writes sceneries. This jam is RZA ft Kid Cudi bana! Dope to hear the RZA again though, Wu-Tang forever! Love the hook, In God I trust I don’t give no fucks!

BROTHERS FT KING CHIP & A$AP ROCKY

Yooooo! A$AP is on this so I’m excited. All this album is missing after Kendrick & A$AP is 2 Chainz & all my favorite rappers would be covered. Loving the production on this album, Scott makes it sound like I’m watching a scary movie. LOL Chip just said “It’s like working four jobs not to kill niggaz”! I instantly love this! It’s about fake friends vs real friends. A$AP bodies this! My favorite record on the album so far. Quotable: Shoes on the rari/ start to look like hooves/ pigs by the crib/ start to look like wolves. – A$AP Rocky.

BURN BABY BURN

Cudder is back on his rap shit & he lets the world know it on this. He stomps the haters & shit talks to those who thought the drugs would kill him or destroy his career. This is my jam! Truthfully the best revenge is success & if anyone ever put you down then play this loud. This one verse will give you all the drive you need!

LORD OF THE SAD & LONELY

Uh oh. Mr. Rager is back. Whoa! The lyrics are crazy. This is definitely another one for the mentally disturbed. Cudder actually sounds like two different rappers on both verses. Scott as usual thanks his fans & fellow demented peoples for being there for him through the dark days. No wonder I love this kid. Despite being sad, Scott is happy, “Sky might fall but I ain’t worried at all/ Got me some Xannies & a couple of Adderall!” Strictly for my ADHD niggaz this is.

COLD BLOODED

The beat is incredibly light…almost sweet. It’s not as dark as the lyrics. I love the second verse, so obnoxious yo! This dude is writing the soundtrack to my life yo “I love how I can make so many people uneasy!” That’s me! Cudder’s rhymes helped this beat.

AFTERWARDS (BRING YOUR FRIENDS) FT MICHAEL BOLTON & KING CHIP

Cudder fished the retirement home & tagged Michael Bolton for this. I have never liked Michael Bolton so I’m confused about this one. The beat’s got my head nodding though. That Michael Bolton bit sounds hella gay. This jam is about picking up chicks for an after party at the crib but Bolton makes it sound like Weezy & Birdman picking up niggaz for a gay fest. SMDH. The beat is nice though. Girls will like this one. Wait…Hold up…this song is nine muthafuckin minutes long? What the? FFWD! The beat switches, everyone wants to be Kendrick. Unless you’re chiefing I wouldn’t recommend this.

THE FLIGHT OF THE MOON MAN

Once again Kid Cudi should score a movie. This instrumental paints a vivid picture. Alone on a foggy night by the lake…looking out into the dark…imagined creatures lurking as you try to find your way home, then come the footsteps…auditory halluscinations…you’re running…the ground disappears under you…you’re falling…then you wake up. It’s a wrap!

I’m so glad Scott is rapping a lot more on this one. This is an album for tormented souls & so all the happy, gumball muthafuckaz, this isn’t for you. Scott has once again delivered a beautiful album & his production all through maintains the albums dark sound that beautifully contrasts his mostly bright lyrics. All that said, Kendrick, King Chip & A$AP murdered him on his own shit but I still love Scott! Stoners, loners, desperados press play but skip track 17.

This is truly the resurrection of Scott Mescudi. He is no longer a sad sack of shit.

Favorite jams: Unfuckwittable, Just Who I Am, King Wizard, Immortal, Beez, Solo Dolo Part II, Burn Baby Burn, Mad Solar & Red Eye.

May Scott live forever to keep writing the soundtrack to my life.

Pamoja!!!