Archive for March, 2013

Boom Bap & Blues : Jared Evan & Statik Selektah Mixtape Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Music, Music Reviews, Women on March 30, 2013 by Saliva Vic

Take some Stevie & Nas & mix it up in a pot/ and what the hell do you get/ you got a hell of a flow – Jared Evan 

Everyone & their mother has been talking about Justin Timberfake’s latest offering 20/20 nonsense experience which I absolutely dislike. However thirsting for some of that blue eyed soul that I can rock to with my girl, I scoured the internets looking for it. Luckily, the universe was listening & sent me down a path that led to discovering Jared Evan. I didn’t realize that I had heard this kid on my favorite TV show, Entourage, I was drawn to the fact that Statik Selektah had produced an r&b soul album. I pressed play & thus began my journey into the land of Boom Bap & Blues.

Boom Bap & Blues


I love this coz I always consider soul music by a white boy to be “blue eyed soul”. Statik Selektah delivers a beat that would make DJ Premier proud to have been an influence to the kid. Jared sings about how he feels there shouldn’t be genres in music. I feel like this song is about not letting yourself into a pigeon hole, just make good music with soul. Fantastic jump off into the mixtape! Quotable: All I try is to strike a chord/ tell me what’s a genre even for? 

Uma Thurman


This beat is hard body yo! No wonder they recruited Fame for this one. Of course from the title you know this is an ode to that girl with looks that can kill. Fame’s verse isn’t that memorable though. He raps about someone getting killed or something but you can’t knock Jared for the solid vocals & deadly lyrics.  Quotable: “She’s a villain with the best sex/ Uma Thurman she’s a killer in a black dress”. Do you see what he did there? Props to the kid’s wordplay.


This kid must watch a lot of movies. The beat sounds like 9th Wonder & Alchemist’s bastard child. This is the first song that’s a bit meh. I can still rock to this. I mean, I can see myself getting drunk to this with my girl laying on my chest singing along. Jared’s got bars yo! He delivers a solid verse toward the end. I get the song as it’s about to end, this is a jam for all those drama queens we date & the damaged girls outchea! Niiiiiice!


Yo! First off, the kid Joey Bada$$ is on this, how can it suck right? The beat is a monster. The boom bap is perfect for Joey’s flow. Jared delivers, sounding like a younger Robin Thicke on this with just a tinge of Justin Timberlake. This is the kid’s weakness, he doesn’t sound like himself but rather like a fusion of existing blue eyed soul artists. This is the jam that reminds you of that girl that broke your heart coz she’s cold to what you truly are. She only sees you for what she wants to see. Only into the surface & not what’s within.  Quotable: It’s funny how no grey bring more blues/ and how no pain no gain is so true!” 


Yo! Statik Selektah called in the favours huh? Two XXL Freshmen on this kid’s mixtape back to back. The jam kicks off with Bronson’s verse & the bearded one goes in hard. He’s bitching how he can’t let go off this girl whose sex has got him hooked. The kid Jared uses music as a metaphor for making sweet passionate love to his woman. I love this. The beat is so soulful with just the right amount of scratches. Yo! Statik Selektah is officially the new DJ Premier. This is the best song on here so far! Can he do better? You gotta play this when you’re getting it on with your girl/ dude/ hand/ doll…whatever tickles your fancy, just put this on.


This kicks off with heavy kicks that are reminiscent of Marco Polo. Whoa! I was too quick to call it, this is the best song on here. Jared sings to that crush we all have on the TV but at the same time he’s talking about how he would want to watch his love & do his favorite things with her without looking back. Wais then comes on with a drug filled verse. This song could be about getting high, when you hit play, you can’t press rewind. I’m confused. Nah. It’s drugs, sending you to lala land like the idiot box. Quotable: Think I lost my fire to the MDMA/ they bout to send me away/ Janis Joplin, pill poppin, drinkin Vodka all day! – Wais P. 


I don’t care too much for this sample. It’s been used too much before yet strange enough I can’t remember what song it is. This is a victory lap type record about celebrating achieving your goals & reaching for higher goals. Like everyone else who made it, he bitches about the life. This is the first joint I don’t care about on this but I want to listen to this Hoodie Allen kid. Yawnfest. He doesn’t deliver a memorable verse.


How can a Statik Selektah mixtape be complete without his BFF Termanology. This is another tune you can bump while making sweet, passionate love to your woman. If you’re like me who likes your women thick/ fat then they’ll disagree to the message. This song is about fucking with the lights on. I like this & Termanology’s verse is just nasty enough making it a perfect blend with Jared’s smooth vocals. Quotable: I’m the one she likes when the night’s long/ coz I give her good conversation & the pipe’s strong! Amen!


What? The kid wants the tape to end? Already? The beat is nice. Very mellow. Jared sings the hook effortlessly, like he’s smoking in the booth. I love the message, it’s about chasing your dreams so he’s asking if he’s almost there. Jared, judging from this tape, you’re almost there brov! This is a dream chaser’s anthem no doubt. He spits in the second verse. He reminds me of Kendrick Lamar. The kid might want to flip what Drake does & become a singer who raps. The bars & flow are so solid!


I always think Sunday is the most useless day of the week so I automatically think this joint is useless. I’m wrong. It’s maad soulful & Jared goes all introspective talking about how much he loves hip hop & how it makes him feel. This is some laid back shit you can smoke to. Pretty short just like the intro. No wonder. It’s the end of the tape.

If you’re looking for something different in blue eyed soul, get this tape. If you love the boom bap era from the golden age of hip hop, get this tape. If you love music that you can feel, get this tape. Statik Selektah blessed Jared with some of his best beats & Jared didn’t waste them. The kid is yet to find what will make him stand out but this is beautiful work in progress.

Favorite jams: Television, Blue, Procreate, Black & White, Are We Almost There Yet, Uma Thurman.

You can download Boom Bap & Blues here



I Am Not A Human Being II : Lil Wayne Album Review

Posted in Alkahol, Hip Hop, Music, Music Reviews, Women on March 23, 2013 by Saliva Vic

You got baby money/ keep it real with niggaz/ niggaz ain’t even got my lady’s money – Hov

Off the bat, I’m not even a Weezy fan. The first & last time I reviewed his album was the Carter III which was exceptional for dude. However, of late, thanks to my love for all things ratchet, I’ve been feeling his crazy punchlines & I figured this should be good. Plus, the last time a wack rapper almost died, he dropped his life’s best work. Yes I’m talking about the first time 2Pac got shot, he dropped the stellar “Me Against The World”, and so I thought to myself, “Self, this must be good, seeing as duke almost chipped the other day, having seizures ala Harlem Shake & what not. With that said, let’s go in.


What’s with this artwork? I thought when he said he’s not a human being he was a martian! Now he’s a moth? Oh, I get it, dude is self destructive like a moth to the fire burned by desire…did I just quote Janet Jackson? Wow!


It kicks off with dude sparking a jay, blowing smoke into the mic. The piano is weird. Is Elton John on this? Okay the piano plays on for over a minute then he goes in. The bars aren’t bad. He says bitch more times than Too Short. I like this. He’s just bragging about how he’s had sex with women since he had no pubes. Quotable: “Before you gas me up check the gas price/ then I make her take this dick like advice/ she see-saw it/ she suck it & enjoy it/ I stick it in her ass like some fuckin steroids!” Woohoo! Let the ratchet games begin!

Curtains ft Boo

Here comes the autotune. Wayne does his best Future impression on this. The beat is ridiculous. The 808s will knock the cobwebs off a nun’s vagina yo! Either the kid is covering up being gay or all Wayne does is have sex with other people’s women on drugs & skate all day. Boo from Boo & Gotti still sounds like a no skill having rapper. Fail. I can listen to this again. Strip club music this is. Quotable: Your bitch ride me like a go cart/ I play that pussy like Mozart/ I Mozart these hoes hearts/ then after that they worthless!” *Waits for feminists to blow up the celly*

Days & Days ft 2 Chainz

I think a woman really hurt this kid. He has like what? 5 baby mamas? The jam kicks off with “Money & shit/ bitches ain’t either!” The soul sample is great, 808’s knocking. This is a beat built for Tauheed aka 2 Chainz. This album is meant for men who are bitter with women yo! He talks shit bana! 2 Chainz doesn’t go in as hard as I expected, he does say “Last name fuck, First name I don’t give a!” Still aside from the beat, this is meh. Quotable: Pussy on my mind, on my breath, and on my fingers/ niggaz try to bite my style but my style a jalapeno!

Gunwalk ft Gudda Gudda

I see Gudda Gudda’s name & I’m scared to hit play. This kid can’t rap for shit. More smoking jays into the mic. The beat is insaaane! It has Juicy J signature “Yeah Hoe!” looped all over it! Juicy produced this & sounds nice! I don’t even listen to what Wayne is saying but it has to do with how he carries guns & walks with a limp. I fux with this on the strength of Juicy’s beat. Juicy just made Gudda sound right. Woop! Juicy spits the hook at the end as Weezy does a Cudi impersonation.

No Worries ft Detail

This is the first single with the video that jacked the classic “Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas”. You will only feel this song when you turn up. If you aren’t under the influence of narcotics, alcohol or any other form of medication then it’s just noise. Detail’s beat is cool though. Why does Tunechi keep shouting out Mack Maine but dude isn’t even on the album? New boyfriend perhaps?

Back To You

This kicks off sounding like some bootleg John Mayer shit. Weezy gets on his rock steez. This song sounds like the illegitimate child that resulted from “Prom Queen” having sex with “How To Love.” I can see myself listening to this when I turn up after a fight with my girl. The lyrics are confusing though, it’s like he’s talking about drugs but then at times it’s about a girl he loves besides living foul banging other women. Nah. It’s about the drugs.

Trigger Finger ft Soulja Boy

Ok. Before I listen to this, I know Chief Keef tried to bring Soulja Boy back & failed. Will Wayne be able to resurrect this kid’s career? Let’s find out. Another nice Juicy J beat. This is some gangsta shit. Like old school Lox on massive amounts of promethazine. I like this. Soulja Boy sounds like a toddler. What the fuck was that? Weezy had to come back to body the beat. Quotable: These niggaz buying haterade by the 12 pack….like 2 stomachs!

Beat The Shit ft Gunplay

Gunplay is insane so I hope this is good but the title? Is this about masturbation? Autotune all up in the first four bars. “Beat shit out that pussy ass nigga” this is the fucking hook? Really? Gunplay goes in hard! This song could be hard as nails were it not for that autotune on Weezy singing the hook. Cool. Quotable: “We Triple C they Triple L/ Lames Love to Lose!” – Gunplay “Life is a gamble dying is your best bet” – Weezy.

Rich As Fuck ft 2 Chainz

I insist he should have given 2 Chainz a verse on this. Weezy has stupid punchlines on this one though! Check it: Pockets getting too fat, no weight watchers no lipo!…Never talk to the cops, I don’t speak pig latin….I be killin em bitches I hope all dogs go to heaven…This is a cool song to dumb out to. The beat courtesy of one of the most underrated producers killing the game right now, T-Minus.

Trippy ft Juicy J

You already know I think Juicy on anything ratchet is ill so let’s see what’s in store. Yessssss! This is turn up music. It sounds like Three 6 Mafia with better rapping skills. Yo! Wayne is unapologetic about his drug use. That’s wsup, it’s the life he chose so we should leave him alone. No wonder he had them seizures. The number of drugs mentioned in the second verse wah! I’ve never tried a quarter of that shit! Juicy the god of trippy kills the last verse with that old Triple 6 flow. This jam reminds me of my ex girlfriend. She used to turn up like this yo! The jawn gets screwed at the end. If you’re on lean, sema win? Quotable: I got high & fell asleep loaded/ woke up & got high again, okay I’m reloaded!


Bitches Love Me ft Drake & Future

I love this. Love this. Love this. Future killed it. Drake did what he does best, sing to these basic chicks & Wayne spewed utter nonsense about having sex with random women. One thing though, if he really didn’t give a fuck about the haters why did he mention them? Plus is Mike Will the king of ratchet rap production? Quotable: Lil Tunechi got that fire & these hoes love me like Satan.

God Bless Amerika

Wow! Is he trying to be conscious? He is! Weezy sounds high as fuck on this though. But then that’s how people say I sound so I won’t judge. He says “I saw a butterfly in hell today” might explain the album cover. I like the effort he put into this but he lost the plot somewhere. Is he mad at America or himself? Is he blaming America for sending him to jail? Either way, it’s a cool record to smoke or drink to. In fact this entire album is best listened to under the influence.

Wowzers ft Trina

Damn! He got the ex-girlfriend to feature? Nicki Minaj, real ass beats your fake ass plastic ass any day. I just hope Trina can still rap, her last album was garbage. The beat is nice. I can see strippers & young girls all over the world twerking to this! The kid just said “My tongue go prrrrrrrrrr/ my dick go Pow!” Trina came through. Best song on the album yo! Produced by Soulja Boy! Wowzers! Quotable: “My tongue is an uzi/ my dick is an AK/ I’m down here waiting for her to come like pay day!”

Hello ft Shane Heyl

Ok. This album is looooooong! It should have ended at Wowzers bana & isn’t Shane Heyl a skater? The fuck is he doing on a record? I know this rock sample! Is that Limp Bizkit? Coz this is a bootleg I have no credits. This is shit though. Too much noise coz it’s almost speed metal at some bits & Wayne screams all over. SKIIIIIIIP!!!!! In fact double dutch over this record. This is shit!

Lay It Down ft Nicki Minaj & Cory Gunz

I like this. Then again after that ear cancer that’s “Hello” this is like being in remission. Wayne’s verse is weak for this beat. Props to Diplo for the beat. Call Birdman quick, Cory just murdered Wayne on his own shit! Nicki pulls a Future “Karate Chop” flow. Not bad. Average record.

Hot Revolver ft Dre

Cool & Dre never disappoint. They came correct with this rock beat. Wayne even sings without autotune. Now this is music to skate to or just frolic in the park with your girl. It sounds right, like summer, sundresses, cold beer & sandwiches. Kid Cudi would have killed it! Okay. The second verse flips a beat & Wayne raps. Quotable: I be having seizures but she say she can’t shake me. LOL

My Homies Still ft Big Sean

This was the one that wasn’t supposed to be on the album. I like the beat, props to street runner. Little Big Sean also came through for this one. Not his best verse but this is worth a couple of spins.

All in all, if you love ratchet rap this is an album for you. Compared to Wayne’s past work, this is no Carter III. This is an album that requires massive amounts of drugs in the system to enjoy, which with the current generation of molly poppers, Charlie sniffers, lean sippers & alcoholics shouldn’t be a problem.

Favorite Jams: Wowzers, Love Me, Rich As Fuck, Trippy, Trigger Finger, Curtains, Gunwalk, Beat The Shit.

Future is the future though.


Woman: Strength, Love, Hope

Posted in Hip Hop, Misadventures, Women on March 21, 2013 by Saliva Vic

I kinda laugh when you cuss at me/ the aftermath is you touching me – Common

Today is World Poetry Day. Having been a bit of a closet poet I felt inspired to write something for someone extremely important in my life. I have always looked at my moms as that Supreme Deity & she will forever be my queen, however recently I discovered a love for another woman that I have never felt before. I would like to share her every single detail with you but I’m playing this one close to my chest coz I know the demons may be listening ready to ruin this beautiful union.

Strength of a woman

This is the symbol for feminism. The raised fist represents strength in numbers and standing up for women’s rights. The circle with the cross is the universal symbol for female, and comes from the astrological symbol for the planet Venus. 

The poem I wrote for her goes out to every other woman out there. You have brought a beautiful change in someone’s life & this is how they probably feel about you if they could express themselves as I have.

                                                                                                             WHY I LOVE YOU

Trapped in darkness, till I met you…the sun finally shone when you came through,

We were worlds apart, but you discovered me…you made your way into my heart & never judged me,

I value our conversations, though I don’t mind the sex…In love with your mind, constantly perplexed,

Your touch gets me hard, lips so soft…I want to enjoy this ride of love till the wheels fall off,

I pray this love gets bolder, wiser & stronger…I’ll love you till the day I die, then after & longer.  

Enjoy World Poetry Day Earthlings!!!! Tell her you love her today.