Archive for May, 2009

Shortest Post! The Editors!

Posted in Music on May 4, 2009 by Saliva Vic

“There’s a devil at your side with an angel on her wing” – The Editors

If you have read this blog since day one when it first premiered on Kenyanblogger and followed it till Kenyanblogger went down and it got a new home on wordpress, then you ill have noticed that once in a while I will talk about hip hop as I am a true to life hip hop head since I was 10. One thing a lot of people that have met me in person always find themselves amazed about is that I listen to all genres of music and surprising to most I listen to quite a bit of rock music.

As is the case with rap music, I prefer alternative rock but I’ll listen to anything of it is sonically satisfactory (pleasant to the ear for the slow ones). As I find is happening more and more these days, ever since I was declared unemployed, I seem to wake up and listen to rock music to help me get over some of the crazy thoughts that run in my head with relation to monetary issues. I received a mix CD from a friend that contained a song called Racing Rats by The Editors. I hadn’t listened to the band before and I decided to look for the album that contained the song coz it was so fucking good!

I haven’t been able to get time with my music supplier so I wasn’t able to get it up until I went over to use my brother’s computer and there it was! The album is incredible. I listened to the whole thing and it is absolutely fantastic. I may be a little late on this one but I am letting all of you know that these guys really rock and if you are a rock fan you must check them out.

Got any bands that an alkaholik should check out? Holla! But for now check out Racing Rats.

Pamoja!!!!

Transformers 2….really?

Posted in Random Access, Women on May 4, 2009 by Saliva Vic

“Get the picture, now commit the crime/ when it’s on I transform like Optimus Prime” – DMX

I miss 1999. That was one great year. It was the year that I completed high school, it was the year that Eminem dropped his first LP, The Slim Shady LP and it was the year of the dog. What do I mean by that, 1999 was the year that saw DMX at his prime with 2 incredible albums and a rough, rugged and raw rhyming style that blew me away as a teen writing my own rhymes. I was reminded of this wonderful year by the trailer to the upcoming Transformers 2 movie, “Revenge of the Fallen” that I received in my email this morning.

I didn’t think that the first Transformers movie was all that but then again what comic book geek such as myself ever thinks that the movie adaptation to any comic was great? (See Punisher, Blade, Superman…the list is endless) I did however think they did a pretty good job especially with the effects, it’s just the character distortion that I didn’t and never appreciate and Hollywood stays doing it. Anywho, back to the Transformers 2 trailer, my brother had already peeped it and said it looked fan-fucking-tastic (I paraphrase) but I laughed it off.

Now I am forced to swallow my words. The trailer looks awesome, showing the transformation and action sequences from a few scenes as well as giving a taste of one of the new characters which looks like something out of Beast Wars (which I never gave a shit about, mind you). The trailer brings to mind Entourage, when they did the amazing trailer for Medellin but the movie was absolute shit! It is a Michael Bay film which is a plus for action movie lovers but Bay isn’t exactly known for his depth in bringing out a story so I don’t entirely look forward to it.

All in all it will drive the crowds into the cinema halls in Nairobi as they keep feeding us with the blockbusters as they explode across the summer screens in the US. I’ll just do this movie the way I do with my liquor, wait for the cheap or free bootleg to drop. Who knows, Megan Fox might show a boob in this one….NOT!

Pamoja!!!

Of Old Broads Getting Dressed

Posted in Misadventures on May 4, 2009 by Saliva Vic

“I ain’t payin no admission/ Sticky Fingaz I can’t even pay attention” – Sticky Fingaz (Stating the obvious)

It’s been forever since I’ve written and I’ve truly missed this. The reasons behind the hiatus are that I have been in between employment opportunities with a bit of bad luck consecutively but I’m positive and keeping my head up. The other reason is that I haven’t been drinking much due to the economic predicament that I find myself in and as the blog is called Alkaholik Kronicklez, there hasn’t been much to chronicle!

That’s neither here nor there for now coz I’m back now with broke sober views on life and various things that I observe on a day to day. Let’s take for example today, I left the box early so that I could get the internets café early before the rush that leads to service slower than snail mail. I got myself together, fresh to death and headed out into the city. I got into a matatu with quite a few good looking girls in it including my girl K-Dub who is a ten, the end! I get the back seat coz I usually prefer to sit at the window on the left side, these matatus get real stuffy as you sit in the traffic jam on Uhuru highway and I need my air!

I am a fat brother so I sweat a lot and real easy too. Anyway as we come down Lang’ata road the matatu picks up this woman who had to be about fifte fae (55 for the slow ones) and she comes to the back seat and sits next to me. I smile at her randomly just as a show of courtesy coz she seemed a bit uneasy and unkempt. After about 3 minutes this old broad starts to rummage through her big ass handbag (tool box) and takes out some underarm roll on deodorant. She then proceeds to lower her blouse and rub it into her armpits like she was digging for gold up in there.

I am in shock and I quickly turn away to avoid any eye contact with her sagging breasts god forbid I go blind or vomit in my mouth and then proceed to choke on it and die! As soon as she is done she pulls back her blouse and I relax a bit but then the old broad digs through her tool box and breaks out the make up and she starts putting on her war paint while we’re held up in traffic on Uhuru Highway. This isn’t so bad so I just watch her in awe. The lady then combed her hair and then tied it up with a great hair band in a lovely soulful manner.

By now she has made the transformation from crazy looking broad to presentable lady. Then I noticed the sagging teats and the continuous rummaging through the tool box. I put 2 and 2 together and came up with 22! She was searching for her bra! No way was I going to go blind or choke on my own vomit before realizing my dreams so I urged the conductor to drop me off at Agip before she started putting on her brain the mathree!

I got off in time and didn’t look back lest I turn into a pillar of salt! I really need to perfect my driving so that I can stop using public transport. But on the one hand I gave that old lady props for managing her time spent in traffic well.

Pamoja!!!!