Hi Hater!

“I was dying to meet you hater/ please don’t hide I need you hater” – Maino

 

I was getting sipped the other night with one of my lovely ladies just trying to get through the Sunday as I do any given Sunday when I went overboard. Now most of you are probably asking yourself what’s new about this as every sober Sunday dictates that I get high as shit and commit random acts of buffoonery. This was different in the sense that it was the first time I realized just how much we hardcore drinkers are hated on by majority of society.

 

I realized this after I went to the store to get credit and some other shit but halfway down the road I forgot what I was going to buy and my mind having been contaminated with shitloads of alkahol decided to do a rewind and took me back a month ago when I needed a light bulb and so I bought a light bulb. I went back to the box where this fine shawty and I were chilling and she tells me that I was supposed to buy credit at which point I head back to the store and with my slurred speech tell the store clerk that I needed eggs and give him back the bulb.

 

When I got back to the box I was sent back by Miss Thang who insisted I get my money back for the bulb. I went to the store the third time asking for my money and that’s when the store clerk started bitching about drunks and all the dumb shit we do and then asked me to leave without giving me the cheddar! As I got back to the box now Miss Thang was pissed, talking about I drink too much, I had eggs and no credit and to add salt to the injury I had no money left to go to work! All this because society wants to hate on the drunk and not assist his drunken ass! Let’s see why this is.

 

  1. We have too much fun. A drunk dude will always have a good time even if the music sucks, the company is boring or even if there was a war going on outside. Alkahol just makes it look like nothing really matters as long as you get wasted.
  2. We have big balls. It is on a very rare occasion that you will come across a drunk dude that is afraid to take on a dare. Make the mistake of placing a wager that is tied to a dare when I’m drunk and say goodbye to your money.
  3. We forget stuff. This one applies to girls mostly. They will hate if I have a huge disagreement when I’m drunk and then I’m all smiley in the morning having forgotten all the bullshit. They should actually be happy I don’t remember.
  4. They want to be us. A lot of people will hate on the drunk dude just because they wish they could trash their livers like tomorrow will never come but they’re just too scared.
  5. We get laid. For some strange reason that I am still trying to figure out is that most girls that frequent pubs and clubs have a thing for that drunk dude especially if he is of the creative tortured soul type. I have an artist friend who gets wasted and the women that chase after this fool like he was driving a GT continental are numerous. They must want to super save a drunk or something.

 

If I can think of more reasons that society hates a drunk dude I will do a sequel to this blog with the hopes that it won’t suck as much as that Bond film. Fuck a Paul Haggis!

 

Pamoja!!!

 

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14 Responses to “Hi Hater!”

  1. nice writing i can see your back,but the festive season been here.am guesing u are bout to take a sabatical

  2. dude that was some funny azz shit! bulbs and eggs! rotflmbao!

  3. lmao….surprised that you remember half that shit!!

  4. bellasbiz Says:

    and ladies and gentlemen introducing the lovely honey that bore witness to this bufoonery….hi lola!

  5. bulb.? eggs ?? the society loves drunks.. see point number 5 is gospel truth i like it every time when my hawt neighbor comes to the crib drunk no matter how loud she bangs the walls and screams on her way up the stair case.she returns the favour too n am not leaving that hood soon… thats a blog item awrite

  6. Number 1 2 3 4 and mos definately 5 are true living proof
    LUvin this shit…store clerk…your killin me man
    good to be back though

  7. Lolest! I wuz considering hangin up my boots, but u just renewed my faith! Plus i considered all the sober children in India!

  8. As long as you got the double M (maji and Mundais), its all for the drinks!!!!!!

  9. Bleeding maiden Says:

    I disagree on the last one…… drank dudes do not perform!! Unless one wants a one minute man!

  10. @Bleeding maiden…that might be true but the girls stay wanting to bed drunken fools….

  11. thats nice but how comes u remember the shit n u were drunk although lola is the witness? huh

    nway whats wrong with pple and walevi? look at this takes a gulp of keg or KC or Kane Extra gurgle and then tema. after that enter into a matatu n tell a sober makanga to shukisha u where there is no stage, next utaskia staki hizo pombe zako or staki ulevi pia mimi hunywa.

    ulevi nipoa

  12. @kappy…..uh? lola witnessed and i remember…what the fuck?

  13. LMBAO!!! Good one! Especially No. 3, dude i had this huge argument with this girl i dated, man, wasn’t she pissed the next monring… Buhahahaha!!!!

    $1nn3r, dude, where you been? Thought you got abducted or something. Good to have you back…

  14. ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- Says:

    i perform betta when stupid drank. 3 to 7 action is no a minute thing

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