BBA III Housemates Review: The Pub Edition

 

“Its survival for the fittest/ only the strong survive the weak just bear witness/” – Asheru            

 

Most of you who read this blog religiously may have gathered that I live in a box and as such there is no way in hell that I can afford to have DSTV, however my mom does and every now and then I go over to her crib and watch BBA. All of you that stay up on BBA 3 know that these guys are the shit but yesterday as me and my boy, Money were talking about the show at the bar it made me think of how would it be to share a drink with them at Al’s Pub. Here are my thoughts.

 

SHEILA

She’s the Kenyan and therefore my favorite choice to get sipped with. The only problem would be that this chick is the female version of me if I was still smoking. The lady talks and cusses like me and is even the centre of most of the conversation just as myself. There would be a tug of war at the counter over who will be the source of entertainment and the winner would not be us but our friends instead.

 

RICCO

This kid is fresh to death when it comes to gear and looks great so he could pull in quite a few chicks into that man infested bar. The problem is the nigga looks gay as a Christmas tree. I’d be drinking scared for my booty hole. Angolans are gully, remember the kid that robbed 50 Cent? The dude might get gully when I’m sipped off the Napps and try some shit!

 

MUNYA

This dude is fresh. The kind of dude I would hang out with and we’d just be men. Chatting up girls and doing shots with the kid while we talk of past and future conquests. I could totally hang out with him. His only defect is the mofo comes from Zim, he could mess around and start borrowing money and asking to be bought for drinks all the time. Sidebar: Fuck Mugabe!

 

TAWANNA

I’m surprised this shawty isn’t a lesbian because she looks like she eats carpet on the regular. She’s a bitch so me and her would totally get along hating on everyone at the bar and she looks like she can attract a massive amount of lesbians to Al’s Pub and chicks are always a plus in that bar. We’ll take what we can get.

 

MIMI

This is the obligatory fat chick that Biggie has to put in the house every year. She’s sexy but what I like most is the accent and her voice. I could listen to her talk all day while we get our drink on for Sober Sunday.

 

LATOYA

I heard a rumor that her facebook profile says that she lives in Mombasa. That means that she probably has whorish tendencies and that’s a good thing. I can just see her and I getting drunk one night and then she would bang my brains out. That fivehead she has is giving Tyra Banks serious competition though!

 

TAKONDWA

My man TK! Apart from having a name that we would clown him over and over at Al’s the nigga is alright. He raps so I’d finally have someone to battle at the bar once I’ve had a couple of Napoleons. The only problem with this nucca is that like most rappers, he’s a straight bitch when it comes to falling for a chick. I’d have to listen to endless stories about how some chica broke his heart.

 

LUCILLE

This is arguably the best looking woman in the house but on the other hand she can be the most boring person on the planet. I might fuck around get drunk and forget she was at the bar and go home only to realize I left her at the bar. (Seriously, this happens more often than you’d think!)

 

HAZEL

I wouldn’t picture myself being with this chick at Al’s Pub because she looks like the uppity ass kind of woman who’ll say that she is too uptown for the place. But that’s just coz I know a high power executive that works for some investment bank who looks exactly like Hazel.

 

MORRIS

No way in hell. Can you say slow? I can’t get sipped with a nigga that needs help from a Tanzanian (they don’t speak English good) to understand primary school literature.

 

THAMI

I liked this kid initially then he threw away food in the name of a joke. This is Africa; we do not throw away food. He’ll probably also just come to Al’s and demand shit, you know thinking that this is SA where he gets priority. His jokes also suck but people fake laughter to boost his ego.

 

UTI

This nigga is big and could probably come in handy if ever there was a scuffle. What am I saying? There are never any fights at Al’s so he’d be useless.

 

Those are my thoughts of who I’d get sipped with at the local pub and why. What’s your take on that?

 

Pamoja!!!

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9 Responses to “BBA III Housemates Review: The Pub Edition”

  1. I think bringing them hoes to al’s would be a bad idea. They would all want to bang me coz i am that guy, yani yule msee. Munya and ricco included. Throw in a Cindy malaki and Tessa and its a full on orgy!!

  2. lol! you’re a nut job!

    pamoja!!!

  3. Is it me or Ricco comes across like a faggot!! i could not get past the whole one hanging earring
    Kwakbox iz the shit, theres really nothing negative to say about her…i would tho love to know is shes really bi that makes her more interesting
    Lucille is cute i think, shes playing the innocent girly girl..dis she really catch strokes with munya or its a hoax??
    Lawhore remains the least fvourite ans shes putting a bad name for Tzedian ladies…
    Takwana or whatever her name is has that whole goat mentality and is taking it too far….how ol is she anyways
    the rest of the house mates are not interesting enuff for me…

  4. ^^^why does everyone hate on tawanna…she’s cool…what does her age have to do with anything man!

    pamoja!!!

  5. DUDE TRACKING YOUR BLOG DOWN WAS HARDER THAN TRACKING OSAMA. OH BY THE WAY BBA SUCKS UDDERS.

  6. BBA takes Africans back to before our ancestors were raped and pillaged by the colonialists back in the 1800s

  7. fuck bba3 its boring!!

  8. fuck that!!!! you guys suck!!!!

    thanks for commenting though!

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