WTF Moments…

“Free like healthcare should be” – Murs           

 

I was walking down the street to Muthurwa like I do every morning to get the matatu to work when I happen to notice something that I have never before though it’s the same every morning. There is an old blind man who’s always begging for change at the fly over bridge but that’s not what caught my attention. This mofo had a radio that was blaring some vernacular station with him. That was when I reacted with the all too familiar term that the internets refer to as WTF! My brain just said it, what the fuck?

 

There stands someone that is asking you for change but the mofo has a radio with him. Why doesn’t he sell that piece of crap for a few loose hundreds to an electrician? It’s Muthurwa, the mofo couldn’t possibly miss a buyer son! This person will not and cannot convince me to spare him some change as long as he holds on to that radio. This made me think about other WTF moments that I have had in the past. Let me share some.

 

I’m walking through the city and I don’t know about you but when I’m in town I try to walk as fast as possible because I hate the way the streets are crowded and I just want to get to my destination to get away from the crowds. Then I get to a scenario where I encounter a woman who is walking so slow and swaying side to side so I can’t get past her. Now, I would be okay with it if the woman was drunk but no, she is carrying her grown ass son! The kid is damn near old enough to get laid and here is this woman carrying the mofo!

 

This is a common feature by the way and I always believe that if they are old enough to talk, poop and pee on their own then the little nuccas should be walking, I mean what the fuck? Another all too common WTF moment is the ladies that profile and front. For those that may not understand the term it generally means to act like you know or to show off and in my case it means both. Here’s one scenario.

 

I happened to be kicking it with some extremely spoilt rich kids and we were just getting hammered at Mwenda’s on every cocktail in the menu, just doing it real grand and so I got my mack on to this one chick that had her click with her. They joined us and we all went barhopping. I hated those kids because they like going to up market bars that I don’t  go to as you guys may know I like my alcohol cheap! Anyway I mentioned the bars and the girls said they had been there before but when we got to one club I realized the lie because they couldn’t find the ladies’ room!

 

Then when the rich kids suggested dropping them home the leader chick said that we should drop them in Karen. We get to Karen and my boy wants the name of the lane as being a Karen resident he knew the place pretty damn good and this bitch can’t name a lane she just says that if we dropped her off at the Nando’s then her sister would come pick her up. We do so and drive on to go pick up a bottle or something, I don’t remember really.    

 

A few minutes later we are driving back down the road and we see these chicks walking toward the bus stop and its like 3 in the morning so we stop by and they just give us an embarrassed look. One of the rich kids just says let’s keep driving on but me being a sucker I called a cab guy I know to that location and asked that he drops them wherever and I’ll pay him. The next day the mofo tells me he dropped them off in Donholm, that’s like the opposite direction of Karen and I’m screaming what the fuck? These little ass girls couldn’t quit while they were ahead? What point were they trying to pull? Be proud of Eastlands if that’s where you’re from!

 

I saw their asses again at the club and I was just shaking my head. What the fuck?

 

Pamoja!!!

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10 Responses to “WTF Moments…”

  1. Black Robb Says:

    I feel u on those mamas who pace @ 2 miles an hr. esp. on notorious streets lyk Tom Mboya… As 4 those Doni chicks, well WTF!!

  2. have you thought that maybe
    1. that radio was a donation from a well wisher who wanted the beggar to keep busy as he’s goin about his begging business..
    2. and that he can’t sell it coz it has sentimental value or sth..
    3. or thats what gives him syk to beg so that he can buy sth bigger n better like a t.v????
    4. or maybe he used to live in this comfortable house which got razed down by a fire and the only thing that survived was that radio….so it holds mad memories…..

    think about

  3. ^^^Now you’re making me feel bad for that mofo….

    pamoja!!!

  4. haha those Doni chicks have me cracking up @ least they should have said they live in Avenue Park which is in the same vicinity…We all know that if a chick tells you she leaves in Valley Arcade 9 times out of 10 she lives in Kawangware. Theres nothing wrong with that these chicks just need to be proud of where ur from and stop trying to fake it……Although you know what they say fake it till you make it

  5. LOL!!! @ Nana, nigga please!!! @ Bella, well if we didn’t have such girls, then we wudn’t have guys who keep on telling mamas that they own all sorts of things… + kwani what kinda bitch-ass nuccas were you rolling with? The point of chips funga is to take em home! Otherwise y’all should get a refund

  6. Ati sentimental value? You got jokes!!!

  7. damn!!! aint that pathetic!

  8. Nicca imma need to charge u tho on using UDictionary…thats my shit!!

  9. @KD* what? i’ve been using urban dictionary for close to 3 years now!!!!

  10. Lol that was some really funny shit, hehehehehehehehe

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