The Day I Kissed A Man!

“Niggaz mad coz I’m bagging chicks that look as bad as Jigga’s” – Erick Sermon

I came across an interesting article today, an interview with Usher that was carried by the Entertainment Weekly. The dude was talking like a grown man. The things that we choose to ignore or misrepresent. The line that caught my eye was when he said that when you are sleeping with all these different women nightly, are you a playa or are you being a whore? That’s real talk right there because I have been in a situation like that, where you make all this money and you’re young so all you do is party and get laid and that’s not right. It begins to eat at your soul after a while. It has to stop because there’s more to life.

This got me thinking about my past and all the wicked and crazy things that I have done and I will share with you a story that might make you sick or laugh. Either way I don’t really give a crap! Back in the day when I was gearing up to head to University I used to hang out with this crew of rich clowns that I liked to call Old Money due to the fact that they were like 2nd generation rich kids. We would hit up this local spot on Sundays called Ka Mandela’s and just drink up talking about everything under the Sun. One Sunday our focus was on gays. Everyone was against gays and I was playing devil’s advocate because I really don’t have a problem with gays. This led to those boys suggesting that the reason I was defending gays was because I was one especially due to the fact that I find other men to be attractive.

Then I shifted the story to the issue of actors who play gays in film and theatre and I was of the opinion that if the job demanded that you kiss a man you would do it because you know that you aren’t attracted to that person. In the same way, I can say that another man is beautiful and know that I can never do anything sexual with them. My boy Allan at this point was pissed and dared me to kiss his cousin, some clueless cat we’ll call Geezer. I accepted his challenge with one condition, he had to buy me a crate of Guinness! Now, I was pretty broke and thirsty so I saw opportunity and jumped on it.

Allan who was baller extraordinaire promptly ordered a crate of Guinness and paid for it. At first I thought it was a joke but once I was majestically stepping on the crate I knew it was the real thing. I grabbed Geezer and laid one of my Nairobi famous kisses on the mofo for about 15 seconds. Can you imagine that after I backed up off him the geezer was still there pouting his lips waiting for more. Everyone in the bar was spitting their drinks out and some dude was asking for bleach to wash out my mouth. I just sat down and sipped on my Guinness. I drank close to 12 that night and passed out. The remaining 13 were carried to my mom’s house and I acted on them the next day.    

This is just one of many crazy episodes that I will be sharing with you soon as the blog tries to revive to its old self when it was on Kenyanblogger. By the way, I think that dude that owned the website sold the IP address to Dear Kenya. Greedy bastard!



12 Responses to “The Day I Kissed A Man!”

  1. one thing is for sure, if your not gay, ur just not…even if you kiss a million men. your just not.
    its different with women tho i should think, coz women are wired to give affection to each other in some strange and weird ways, so even if they develope some kind of affection, they are just straight…but men are not wired that wat. they are either gay or they are not!

  2. Bella you are GAY! We always knew that!

  3. Negro, you GAY!!!! No doubt about dat!

  4. a pimp named slickback Says:

    @ neema… what do you mean by ‘if u kiss a million men u aint gay’ how abouit if u sleep with a million men dont that make u a whore?

    @ bella… saddest part is we all saw it but ignored the fact that nigga you definately gay however you can never underestimate the lengths one can go for pints, keep the good stuff comin…pamoja!!

  5. Spielberg Says:

    You gay buddy. You gay. You are the gay sex machine sent from the future to change one unsuspecting guy’s life with a kiss, all for a couple of pints. The Bellanator.

  6. bellasbiz Says:

    @pimp and militant and ash…i’m blind to you haters…


  7. The Pimp Says:

    I love guinness. No homo. Finally i find your blog.

  8. bellasbiz Says:

    guinness is that good shit…

  9. You kissed a dude, for a crate of booze, yuze a whore! Even worse, exchanging sexual favours (kissing is a sexual action, in this case) for booze? Thats lower than low. Mad love for your blog though.

  10. if i bought you 2 crates of Guiness what will you do to me?

  11. brok3ncyde Says:

    blackstar hapa….10 years later im still not over the crashing of kenyanblogger…. great storry as always, nigguh we know u aint gay but i wouldnt fucking do what you did tho….even if my life depended on it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: