Hi, I’m Bella and I’m an alcoholic…

“I can drink a whole Hennessey fifth/ some call it a problem but I call it a gift/” – Xzibit

Well said by one of the most notorious of the Alkaholik family. I haven’t written in a minute because unlike some fruits that have to work only a few hours in a day I have to put in ridiculous hours for even more ridiculous pay! Anyway what prompted this is what happened to me yesterday. I was at work busy as a bumblebee and going out of my mind. I needed a drink real quick otherwise I was going to scream my bloody head off. Like an angel sent by the gods of alkahol, JM told me to accompany him for a run he had to make to Garden Estate. Now, you might think that this is random but I kid you not, JM is that guy when it comes to buying alkahol when I’m broke which I was and still am actually.

JM copped me that KC to ensure that I don’t stay thirsty while he drank some juice. Juice, I never get that, who in their right minds would want to fill their bodies with sugar and water which has no high instead of filling their bodies with alkahol which makes you fill tremendous. I swallowed the whole 375ml of liquor as I watched Straight Up. Honestly, is there any other way you can stand Drew for that length of time? I’m not hating, I’m just saying! Anyway after this I got a text from my favorite person in the world, my girl Elkay. I love Elkay so we agree to hook up in town.

After a 375ml bottle of KC you would think that I would be easy but I convince JM to cop a Naps because I need to get more loaded. At this point in time I should have listened to that voice in my head that was saying, “Just say no!” instead I listened to the one that was saying, “Hey drink that Naps real quick coz you can’t carry it into a bar in tao! “ I drank the 250ml as JM weaved through traffic on Thika Road. By the time I got to Club Soundd I was faded. It was like I was there but not there at the same time. The only thing I can honestly recall properly is that Elkay was looking great even in a weave. It was like I was in a dream.

The alkaholik in me wanted more still so I convinced Elkay to journey with me to the suburb where my local is located. There I purchased the Naps and got her to drink it too. Now at this point what sticks out in my memory is that the barman harassed me for some cheddar that I owed him from the drinks I had the last Sober Sunday. How is it that when I’m broke I tend to drink more than when I have money? Anyway that’s when the sandman struck and so I was blacking out and ish. The other ish that I remember is my mom bitching about my drinking, because in my drunkenness I went to her crib to eat, since her crib is next door to the local.

Then I had this dream where I was rolling over and over in this sack of hay, bear in mind that I have never seen hay in my life, I rolled over and landed on my mom’s floor. I couldn’t at first figure out how I got there and didn’t bother to recall much because I checked my phone and I got a text message from this shawty that I have the biggest thing and she is so awesome. The problem is that I remembered that  I had met my boy Fab yesterday just before I started drinking. Fab was that dude when it came to drinks, once in high school we went to this Mama Pima who was wack as hell but after a few glasses of IDK Fab was letting his fingers do the walking on her not so private parts.

Anyway Fab told me that he had lost 6 jobs due to his drinking and had since gone to rehab and is now on a soda diet. I don’t mess up that much but I have started thinking that I should give up drinking….so much…unless I’m alone in the crib…who am I kidding these drinks will be the death of me!



5 Responses to “Hi, I’m Bella and I’m an alcoholic…”

  1. I’ll drink to that…

  2. Damn!! i dont like this new blog yaani…
    hats off ifor the drunk ass dude!!

  3. bellasbiz Says:

    i’m sorry you feel that way…it might be home if the other doesn’t wake up…


  4. Sup people! @ bella: Word!!!

  5. ray of sunshine Says:

    silly rabbit… i like the new blog its got pretty pictures well i did till they started with all the gay formalities now it sucks melons i dont have a freaking website

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