Yesterday I Got Drunk!

“I’m young hungry armed n reckless/ on the streets with a deathwish/ don’t hide when you see me I’m on the guestlist” – Teflon

As the title of this post says, yesterday I got drunk. I was wasted, sloshed, papers, pissed, call it what you wanna call it I’m a fuckin alkaholik….Wait a minute who let Xzibit in here? You know what? Right now I’m residual drunk right now. Residual drunk is what I enjoy the morning after binging serious. You see guys, when you go out and get plastered you suffer a hangover but I don’t, I enjoy being residual drunk, a state where I am as happy as when I am completely drunk only that I am focused and I can do stuff unlike when I am completely drunk. It is a state that induces paranoia coz I can never be sure whether my breath wreaks alkahol or whether my superiors can sense I am too happy to be at work!

My case of residual drunkenness is due to last night activities. I had got word that that hot chick from TV was going to be at The Cockpit to present its poetry night. Is it gay to say I was looking forward to hanging out with the Smitta than check for Arunga? If so, whatever nigga!  I therefore got the little cheddar I had and got two poems ready and headed to Al’s for a quick Napoleon with the D.I. He was pretty good company for the first 2 Naps but he pulled a serious Scofield when I opened the 3rd bottle. Sidebar: To pull a Scofield is to escape from an alkahol plan unannounced and totally unnoticed. So there I was sipping slowly when The Pimp walked in. It was his son’s birthday yesterday so I used that as an excuse to get the 4th Napoleon while all I really wanted was to get shitfaced.

Now from here my memory gets fuzzy. I remember that we went to The Cockpit with The Pimp. I also recall that due to my high level of intoxication, I grabbed the mic to recite my poem only to be unable to read the damn thing so I choked. I was too high to give a rat’s behind anyway. I remember joking around with the smitta but that’s about it. I woke up and I was on my mama’s couch. I don’t remember how I got there though. I left in the kokorikoz, got home, had a bath and headed to work got in at 0630h and now I am posting this.

The residual drunkenness is wearing off, crap! Work sucks; the accountant is busy chopping off my commission. Let me go and deal with that!


Update: I just had a shitty experience, I was in the washroom and the guy in the next booth was having the most interesting bowel movements, the ish was dropping one by one and they were small buggers coz they made a plop sound when they hit the water like, plop, plop, plop, 6 or 8 times. I tried to close my ears but I couldn’t! Then I started to laugh and I heard him click, so I had to stay in my booth till he was done and gone.

I also saw G-Money in traffic. He looked a lot bigger than I imagined. He didn’t look that Jamaican though…Maybe it’s the stereotype I have that Jamaicans are blunt smoking, dreadlock having, fist pumping mofos. Oh well, the dude pushes a land rover…not bad considering one of the highest paid radio personalities in this country pushes a hummer….that’s right, Maina Kageni bitches!


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