Nairobi is marwa! Yeah right!

“These rappers must be fags coz I’m always on their minds” – Bishop Lamont

I was walking through my old hood yesterday when I spotted R.O.S. walking like she owned the hood. That’s when I remembered my boy Ra who is also known as the fuckin landlord due to his tendency to sleep with the spinsters his father rents the SQ to.

This dude was going out with a shortie from a wealthy family, I’m talking old money mofo and as is with most of these ladies, they like to spend their money on you, take you out in exchange for someone who has a different background who can show them things they only heard about. She would take him to the cork for a jazz night and he would take her to a local in his hood in eastlands where the language was predominantly sheng that she would marvel at as the words came out of brothers’ mouths.

As Musiq said, Everything was cool when love was all brand new but as life is things do not stay brand new that long, even Kiss had to stop using that annoying New Kiss 100 catchphrase. They had some problems arguing and ish every now and then but nothing major then Ra started hearing rumours from dudes (mostly haters) that his shawty was going around telling her friends that Ra would never leave her coz she had all this money and he could never be able to cope without her.

At first Ra ignored it but one day the chick’s BFF came up to Ra and told him to his face that the mama was disrespecting him by sharing the stories about Ra’s gold digging ways. Now Ra is a jang’o and things like that just don’t fly. He had never hooked up with her coz of the cheddar and being called a gold digger by some broad when your veins are flooded with pride filled blood was the stuff to drive a brother crazy.

Ra confronted his mama;

Ra: What’s this I hear about you talking reckless?

Rich Girl: What are you talking bout now, nigga you crazy!

Ra: I was chilling with Cindy the other day and she said you called me a gold digger!

RG: Fool get out of my face with that bullshit!

Ra: RG, I like you but I will cut you out my life in a second, I don’t play.

RG: You know you can’t how will you keep drinking and clubbing like you do? I’m yo meal ticket!

Ra: I been drinking and clubbing before you bitch….

RG: (Interrupting) Nigga please!

Ra: (Holding her head) The problem with you is that you don’t listen!

That’s when Ra head butted her clean, making her nose bleed.

RG: (Crying) You are so going to pay for this!

Ra: Ati what? Nairobi is ours!

Ra went back to the crib and was chilling about an hour later when the police barged in and dragged him to the bing. It took 10 grand and Ra practically going down on his knees to get out of the cell and to get the shawty to not pursue the matter further respectively. Later in the name of revenge Ra lied to her that he wanted to get back together, slept with her then dumped he post coitus.

That was some sick ish and so Ra and I don’t roll no more. I am totally against violence against women and post coitus dumping. It’s still a story I thought I should share with all you bored to death at work.

Pamoja!!!

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