Idle Mind

 “I was nice before Ice/ before Christ, before the words let there be light and a light took over the night/ I was born wit a mic/ Lord of the mic/ before all plant and animal life”- Canibus!

Now that is one sick lyricist! Anywho…I am having what I call a Useless Ass Day! I have not sold jack ish and that means that I have no business sitting in this office right about now. I am completely idle and you know an idle mind means idle hands. With my hands this idle and my mind thinking evil thoughts I thank God I can type and have the computer to use coz right about now my sorry self would be in the Gents’ room masturbating.

Yeah I said it! That’s what I would be doing, chocking the chicken fantasizing about the hundreds of shorties that I just saw on the sizzling streets of Nairobi. Nairobi women it is official, you are the hottest women a hot young dude would want to wank over. These shorties are bad! I just walked towards this shawty whose parents must have had sex on the perfect day, at the perfect time after some perfect foreplay coz she was banging! As she walked past me and I turned to stare at a derriere, I had to stop mid-neck turn coz the lady behind her was at least twice as fine as her! Self had this to say, “Thank you Jesus that I have eyes and give your old man God my props for creating these extra lovely creatures we call ladies.”

The beauty about masturbating with the images of women that I see walking the streets is that they are perfect. You haven’t spoken to them so you don’t know whether they are blondes/ rude/ gold diggers etc. Then coz you are masturbating, there is no fear of misperformance or shawty not getting her big “O”. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to promote masturbation, I’m just saying.  If I had the choice of living in any other city in the world, you bet your sweet ass I’m going to decline and stay in Nairobi coz they have the highest quality of women to masturbate to!

I just had a thought though, what if in the process of jerking off in the men’s room I hear a knock on the door and it’s the Security Officer and it goes something like:

Bella: (Jerking steadily almost cumming) Hmmphh!

S.O: Bella get out of there!

Bella: (Accidentally cumming on hand) DOH! Oooh! I’m constipated! Give me a minute.

S.O: Constipated my azz, I put cameras in this loo, I saw what you are doing and it makes me sick.

Bella: Uh! What! I…I…Can explain…you know…

S.O: (Interrupting) Come out here, I can suck it better.

Bella: Nooooooooo!!!

Dude where did that come from? An idle mind folks, an idle mind. I wonder how many people who read this blog regularly I have offended today.

Pamoja!!!

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Idle Mind”

  1. sick…u are sick .haha haha but u just made my Friday ur blog is the ish

  2. i missed tis shit LMAO hehehehehe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: