I am Stan…

“Yesu nipe uvulilivu” – Random Gospel Mama

An Open Letter To Kenya’s Dopest Chick

Dear Kenya’s Dopest Chick,

As I sit here at the computer typing this down, I feel like Devon Sawa portraying Stan in Eminem’s video. The thunder and lightning is in my mind, the pregnant girlfriend and the downers however are nonexistent.  The music is the gospel mama singing to God to please give her perseverance which is what I need now. Okay, okay, I just lied right there, I am actually listening to the classic Wenyeji album, Siku Njema. But that’s neither here or there, I need to persevere serious heartache and pain and at the same time I feel like shitting myself due to the suspense that you put me through.

I have always known something special when I come across it, like the first time I saw Zaza Mpaza aka Big Mike battle back in ‘98/ ’99 or when I saw Master Ajabu aka Eric Musyoka banging on drums at the music festivals circa ‘98/ ’99. It’s like Common said, “it don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine”. That’s what I saw in your comments save for the one where you said, “Love and basketball” then proceeded to say that you thought you were the only one hip hop got sprung. I don’t know what you were alluding at so feel free to enlighten me but I would have gone with Brown Sugar, both movies starred the dopest chick in USA, Sanaa Lathan.

I want you to know that I am enjoying this back and forth we’ve got going on but at some point you have to realize that it will have to end. What you have asked of me is something I can’t give. It’s not that I do not want people to see me, I’ll be honest. No photos of me exist! I’m serious I am like those guys that are really intelligent but can’t read. I go to sleep hoping that KD* will leave a comment for me or accept my friend request. I have become a BITCH! I have hired an expert in computer shit to try and save your image from the net.

I am reaching never seen before levels. I even sent DJ Kaydee a friend request coz his name reminds me of you! Okay, no I haven’t done that but I will if you do not hit me back. However, it’s not all bad. I am glad that I got to write this, I need mental exercise after the alkahol I had last night, it will get me in the mood for my meeting at 1000h. I know that you are asleep now and all I can hope is for you to get that fine azz up later today and check this. Too bad, I am a poor bastard who can’t afford a phone with internet connectivity so that I could RSS this shit to let me know when you comment.

I am Travis from the Gym Class Heroes on that song “New Friend Request” just click confirm! Till then peace! To all the readers who got on here expecting some comedy, sorry I had to do this. If I’m in the mood I will write about this low budget video shoot I went to, the past weekend or something as funny. Vichwa zi face juu!

Pamoja!!!  

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One Response to “I am Stan…”

  1. […] thanks and bear in mind that every year I write one gay post and this may be the gayest since the KD* post and don’t expect another one. Since we’re all straight here check this out these pics. […]

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