The Questions

“Vile maisha yangu ni mbaya yako ni shadow” – Wardhes.

There are numerous times that I have to walk the Nairobi streets when I’m on the grind. There are only 3 things I can do to keep myself from getting bored. I either rap to myself as I walk coz my broke azz can’t afford an i-pod, my dome is my i-pod. The other thing is I admire and appreciate all the lovely azz and pretty faces that my sistaz are walking around with in this beautiful city of Nairobi. The third is taking time to ask myself questions that I have no answers to kind of like that song ‘questions’ that Common and Mos Def did on the’ Like Water For Chocolate’ album. Here are a few of those questions.

 

1.Why is it that most girls with tig ol’ bitties (for the slow ones, that’s big ol’ titties) most likely have small, flat or non-existant booty?

2.Did you know that there is a police post those sides of the voo (for the slow ones, Carni) and it’s called West Park? Why do mofos keep getting jacked then?

3.Why does the Kane Extra from Uchumi taste sweeter than the one sold at most locals? We must be sipping some non-electronically tested ish at the bar!

4.Why are dudes obsessed with Lillian Muli? Baby girl is not that fine and she wears a whole cake of make up even when she gets off the set. In Dave Chapelle’s words, “I seen her!”

5.Do people know that the phrase “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” was first spit by Ice T? Or that the line “Turn off the radio, turn of that bullshit” was originally spit by Ice Cube and not Dead Prez? There’s whole bunch of others that I can’t think of right now.

6.Why are jang’ men usually attracted to yellow yellow mamas? The dark sistaz got it going on too man!

7. How is it that Hip Hop is the only genre of music that tries to get you out of the game coz of your age? Why can’t the young dudes accept and let the old heads rock?

8.Why do I black out when I drink too much?

9.Why are people so sensitive nowadays? They want to ban music, they don’t want Richard hitting both the girls in the BBA house, they censor what you say, they don’t respect your opinion. I once saw a kid almost cry trying to defend some south rapper in an argument? Like Jay said, “Sensitive thugs/ you all need hugs/”

10. What if girls had penises and boys had vaginas? What would sex be like?

 

Pamoja!!!