Mr.Pop Up

Kunywa tu/ Na, Napsika juu/ life ni fupi na mi sijifungi/ na weka soda chini na inua glass juu/ na na na Napsika tu/

Honestly I don’t know what to tell you today my mind is in kind of a slow flow today, wait a minute, that’s actually how it’s like everyday but today it’s different. I was in a bus today and didn’t have a thought in my mind then it came to a stop, my stop. I was about to get to alight but I had one problem……………Mr. Pop Up!

Let me introduce you to Mr. Pop Up, he is the dude that comes at the most unexpected time and for no apparent reason when I am out in public….when he pops up I have no choice but to (a) try and hide him, (b) wait for him to go back from where he came from and inconvenience myself or (c) get up in full view of people and get embarassed more than Moi when Martha Karua walked out when he was mid speech to the glee of the wananchi…..Mr. Pop Up is a totally Unexpected Erection, a disease I am cursed with in part due to my misused virility…

I mean I don’t even have to think about anything and whoop there it is! Imagine me chilling in a clients office to sign an order, the client steps away briefly and tells me to wait outside. I drift off not thinking of anything in particular and when his Secretary tells me a few minutes later to go in, Mr. Pop Up rears his ugly head (pardon the pun). Picture me trying to conceal him with my diary while I avoid eye contact with anyone of the female gender…or even male for that matter. I get in the office and now the client is seated with a hot young executive who holds out her hand for me to shake and I clumsily juggle the diary from my right to left hand revealing Mr. Pop Up in the mess…..How much can a brother take?

Or today in the bus I decided to wait it out coz I was seated next to an old lady and I would be damned if she were to think that Pop Up showed up coz of her leaning and rocking with it due to the bumpiness of the roads we have in this country and believe me that was not the reason.So I stay seated to wait for Pop Up to disappear and in the process miss my stop and face the inconvenience of having to hop another bus.

The other time I was working on the computer when my hot boss called out my name wanting to talk to me, yes you guessed it, Mr. Pop Up was in the bulding, what do I do? I have no choice I get up to go speak to her, she looks up as he remains seated and the next thing she is blushing, and you know she is a yellow yellow, damn Pop Up! Mr.Pop Up haunts me when I am not thinking of girls, believe me ladies.

Thank God for Pop Up as opposed to being haunted by Mr. Floppy.




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