How now? Scenario 1

“Wow how, now wow/ how now brown cow/” – Charlie Brown…No not the Peanuts cartoon character but the dude from Leaders Of The New School.

When we used to hang out with my pals at the Northview Apartments, in those campo days and drink as much KC as humanly possible to the point that our livers were ready to send out a complaint to the ever vocal Francis Atwoli (COTU Chairman) due to the enormous amount of work they had to deal with while at the same time working under the most deplorable conditions, there was a very common saying, “How Now?” This later on evolved into “How now, brown cow?”

Do you ever have one of those moments when people do some ish that just makes you go, how now? You couldn’t possibly fathom what on the lord’s green earth prompted them to make the decision they just did or commit the act that just took place. It’s like T.I. being a dumb azz and getting himself busted with lots of machine guns on his way to cop some more while he is a convicted felon who makes 18 Metre in one year…You would think he has people to handle this ish…Doesn’t anyone watch TV? Two words…Anthony Soprano!!!   

Scenario: This dude I know, let’s call him Space. Space is invited to tag along with a friend to a party that the pal has been invited to. Space knows none of the girls that have thrown the party save for one of my favorite jump offs of all time who is also in attendance. The alkahol is flowing with everyone having a good time and Space is even cracking jokes and catching the eye of a few girls. However, Space feels that he has to get with my favorite jump off coz he feels he made ‘eye contact’. They go outside to catch a smoke and the dude, without any warning, goes for the kill and leans in to kiss the girl who back off kind of shocked and repulsed. Chicks being chicks asks the obvious,

Jump Off: What do you think you’re doing?”

Space now is all hood, speaking in sheng and real tough like,

Space: Si nilikuwa nataka kumunju, kwani nini?

Jump Off: What? I am not even remotely attracted to you! It ain’t that kind of party!

Space: Ati What? Si ulikuwa ukinicheki across the room? Una ujinga?

Jump Off: Who are you calling a jinga? F*** you! (Getting ready to slap the taste out of Space’s mouth)

Space: Nini wewe? Unaweza mangwa na Bella lakini unanikazia?

Jump Off: What?? I never slept with Bella! You prick, is that what he said?

At this point everyone comes to intervene and stop this chick from making an example of Space. This is why I have to remark, how now brown cow?

At what point did Space think all was lost and he decided to disrespect this lovely lady in the way that he did. I had never slept with this girl and I never told Space I did but due to his assumptions on the strength that he saw us together and that she crashed at the crib once, he thought I did.

He therefore misses the not only the opportunity to get with this shorty but also all the other girls at the party coz they all know he’s a nut! In the crap that ensued, he also managed to ruin the camaraderie that existed between me and the said jump off. How now??

I am going to give you more How now??! Scenarios in the near future coz they are a lot and more are in store as the days progress…..even for you.


P.S. I was going to title this post “Dumb Ish” but after some reflection settled on this.


One Response to “How now? Scenario 1”

  1. haha i know dude like Space and he has made me lose like 3 jumpoff’s cause when he gets tipsy he has no handbrakes on what he says

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